The Soros-funded Fake News Media sank to new lows this past weekend, spreading the scurrilous – and possibly treasonous – rumor that Greatest President of All Time Donald J. Trump had an audible gastrointestinal slippage during a White House press event. Numerous outlets are falsely reporting that the President cut the press conference short after a microphone picked up a sound associated with what is commonly known as a “shit-fart,” or simply “shart.”

Insane liberal detractors even went so far as to use artificial intelligence to generate fake images of the President and attendees appearing to react to a pernicious odor. The volume of AI images of the President appearing to lose control of his large intestine reached such a level on Monday that Grok’s “spicy” mode was temporarily unavailable. Fortunately, at the direction of Elon Musk, additional bandwidth was purchased so that panicked incels could return to generating nonconsensual AI images of naked female YouTubers.

[Above: A side-by-side comparison of the patriotic, real photograph where President Trump is definitely not thinking about how to leave without people noticing anything, compared to an agitprop AI photograph created by insane America-hating leftists to defame our great President. To be clear: the President definitely did not poop his pants.]

In a terse statement, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said “The President did not poop his pants. These rumors are hateful lies concocted by domestic terrorists to distract from this administration’s many accomplishments.”

Leavitt continued, “I am in the Oval Office constantly, and I can tell you that the tangible fart odor and wet, sticky, brown stains on the President’s chair have been there since day one – no doubt left there by Sleepy Joe. The fact that the back of the President’s pants were soaked during this weekend’s press conference demonstrates how bad the problem got under the previous administration. Just another issue left for us that we are in the process of fixing.”

The specious lies reached such a level that Nobel-prize winning Doctor Mehmet Oz, who was present for the meeting, also issued a statement. “The President’s gluteous maximus and gluteous medias – which together form the butt – are so strong that, when he flexes, they create an audible sound not unlike a small thunderclap. That is what you heard during the press conference, and nothing more. Any smell that accompanies this phenomenon is completely normal.”

Dr. Oz continued on to remark, “I have examined the President’s anal sphincter on many occasions, both personally and professionally. Without a doubt, he has the tightest anus I have witnessed in any patient – ever. Last year, I actually shattered my right distal phalanges in two places when I attempted to give him his weekly rectal McDonald’s cleanout. It’s just that tight.”